Time for A New Chapter

Well as of 11:30am on Friday I was officially done with my undergraduate work at Johnson. It was a very emotional week especially Thursday and Friday having to say bye to my Tennessee family that has been my rock for the last 3 1/2 years and saying goodbye to my 6th grade students who I already miss so much! I did give my students my email address and have already heard from a couple of them and I am already planning a visit or two as long money allows.

I was a lot more upset leaving Knoxville then I thought I would be. For 4 1/2 years I always said I couldn't wait to be done and I couldn't wait to get the heck out of that town but I think I'm going to miss it more than I ever realized. In the last few months I have felt like many of my closest friendships were falling apart and I think it is mostly because life is just so busy for everyone but it still makes me really sad. I'm hoping that after the holidays I will be able to reconnect with these people and can work on rebuilding these relationships.

I have been back in Indiana for literally 24 hours and I am already sick of the cold and the snow. :) These next two weeks are going to be crazy trying to do the holiday stuff with my family and try to get things moved in at Tori's but I can't wait for the first of the year when I am there full time and starting to figure out what I'm doing. I think in the last 24 hours I have had 10 people at least ask me what I'm going to do now with the rest of my life. Part of me wants to be snotty and tell them that if I knew I wouldn't be staying with my aunt and uncle and moving in with a family because I can't afford to live on my own. It is so frustrating because a part of me feels like a failure because I have a college degree and I'm having to still be so dependent on other people. I don't need people to keep reminding me of this.

Right now I'm trying to remember that I need to just keep praying and that things will happen in God's timing. There is a reason that I'm back in Indiana, I'm just still waiting to find it. Until then, I just keep praying and know that things will all be ok.

God is Good!

This semester has been really tough on me emotionally. My first placement was really rough and I dealt with a lot of issues most student teachers never experience. I would drive to and from school everyday and just cry. This second placement has been nothing but a blessing which has been so beneficial because I am in the middle of stressing about a job and so forth.

This week in particular I had my last formal observation which I was pretty stressed about, we use a lot of technology in our classes and a lot was not in my control. Technology can always fail and I hadn't really thought about what I would do if it did fail because it never has thus far, thankfully. I had mentioned the observation to some of my students and had talked to the class that was being observed. On Thursday (the day of the observation) a bunch of the girls came up to me that morning before homeroom to give me a pep talk. They were so reassuring and kept telling me that I just needed to be myself because I am great at what I do. I am so blessed to have some of these kids in my life. One of the girls that was giving me the pep talk even came to pray with me before the observation. They just amaze me.

I never thought I would ever want to teach in a Christian school and this placement has completely changed my mind. I think it would be a great experience. I have the utmost respect for the teachers I work with and the parents and their dedication to their children. Not all families are great and I realize that there will always be negatives but this has been such a positive atmosphere and experience for me. I cannot believe I only have two weeks left and then it's over.

On another note, I had a phone interview for a nanny position this week that went really well. Right now she is checking out some references and then wants to set up a meeting once I get to Indy! The job would start as early as Jan. 3rd so I wouldn't have to go too long without some sort of income. I would need to find a second job but this one is only 6 days a month so it would be totally feasible. I'm hoping this all works out but the mother seemed to really be impressed with me which was encouraging.

Change is A'Comin

Wow! My life is definitely heading toward a time of change and transition. I have twenty school days left with my middle schoolers and then my student teaching semester is over and I'm out into the real world. I cannot believe how quickly the semester has gone. It has been challenging but full of learning experiences for sure. I feel more prepared to be out in the schools from this semester than I do after my four years of undergrad. It's very exciting but now comes the hard part of finding a job.

In just about six weeks I'll be moving back to Fishers to live with Tori and her family for awhile so I can save and get on my feet before adding the stress of rent and utilities bills to my list of monthly responsibilities. I am so grateful that they are going to let me live with them for awhile and help me get started with the next chapter of my life. I have applied for a couple temporary teaching positions in the school system up there, am applying to sub and then have a couple other connections in a few preschools up there. Now it's just waiting to hear something.

I think this is the first time in my life where I can say that I truly feel like this is what God is calling me to do. It took a lot of thinking and praying about where I was going to go after this semester and all the signs kept pointing to Indiana. I always said I would never go back but God is definitely showing His sense of humor because I cannot imagine going anywhere else. I'm excited to get back into church and be able to serve regularly and hopefully get into a small group or something where I can connect with people my age and have a good group of friends. I'm excited for the next six weeks to be over and leave the bubble of college but it's also a bittersweet time because I'm leaving behind some people very close to my heart. Luckily I'll only be six hours away and can hopefully visit often.